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If honesty is the best policy, then why is it so difficult for us to truly be honest? Last week I had the opportunity to visit one of the entries in our current HONESTY challenge. Deanne, from Little Bit ‘OPaper had a really great quote on her project:
Hello my wonderful friends, followers, readers and anyone who just happened to stumble across my blog today. In continuing with the theme of Honesty this month, which is the theme for the current challenge over at the Path of Positivity, I bring to you another introspective entry on this entangled concept. I have also included this information as part of the midway post over on PoP so if you are in the habit of checking in over there as well, you'll be able to skip the top half of that post.
So, on with today's thoughts...
If honesty is the best policy, then why is it so difficult for us to truly be honest? Last week I had the opportunity to visit one of the entries in our current HONESTY challenge. Deanne, from Little Bit ‘OPaper had a really great quote on her project:
“Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.” ~Faust
Many people are under the impression that simply not lying makes them honest. However, truth encompasses so many other variables and being completely honest with others and even ourselves can be quite a challenge.
As children we learn all the different outcomes from lying or simply avoiding the truth. The act of lying itself may prevent a child from getting into trouble immediately but the consequences of when the truth is finally discovered may increase the punishment tenfold. Then there are those occasions when telling the truth itself will result in punitive measures. If a five year old realizes that telling the truth is going to cost him or her in some way, are they likely to speak up with sincerity? Then, what about those times when it just might be possible that the child’s lies aren’t discovered? The praise and reward received may propel the child down a slippery slope of dishonest behaviour in order to achieve desirable results. As the child grows and tests the waters of where their honesty or dishonesty lands them, the negative patterns of conduct may already be too far ingrained and subconsciously they may come to a point where they don’t even realize how dishonesty is impacting their life. Face it, as humans if we can avoid facing emotional pain, our tendency will be to fall back on dishonesty if we believe that it can preclude us from experiencing the ramifications of distress. Thus, we end up falling into the pattern of deceptive behaviour given our desire to stay in our ‘happy place’ and to effectively avoid conflict or responsibility and get what we want. However, time has taught us that patterns can be broken and in order to live authentically, we need to adopt an honest lifestyle.
The problem is that walking the fine line of honesty can be a very difficult road to travel. As the quote says, it isn’t simply about not telling lies, it is also about coming forward and being truthful when we have done something wrong. It is about having the courage to speak up and tell the truth though we may be afraid to do so. It is about living your life with honesty being an important principle that you follow. Finally, it is about embracing and loving this truthful side to your nature. For some people, this means that they must ready themselves to deal with the potential pain that telling the truth can lead to and also learn that life isn’t always going to be about getting desirable outcomes. It takes true strength to be honest and if individuals have spent years immersed in negative behaviour, their patterns will not be broken overnight. However, with time, practice and perseverance, patterns can be broken. For others, the difficulty of living a truthful life lies in not wanting to hurt those around them. Many of us would prefer to avoid bringing distress to the people we care about. In these circumstances, we need to approach the situation with tact, be sensitive to the feelings of others, and exercise political correctness while still managing to bring honesty into the equation. None of these are easy tasks.
My personal goal is to live a truthful life. Sometimes I am not always so successful. For myself it is more a matter of not wanting to bring pain to others, not wanting to show anger and if I am being truthful with myself, avoiding conflict. Living a truthful life as Faust has laid out in his quote, is not an easy task at all. It can be arduous, distressing, uncomfortable and confusing, yet exalting and liberating all at the same. It requires determination, introspective thought and commitment. Additionally, it requires an individual to be accountable for their own life. That is not an easy thing to do but I believe that the rewards for living a truthful life are worth the efforts—better relationships, trust, less anxiety from having to keep all the different lies straight, knowing that you have taught others through example. These are all ideals worthy of the struggle, are they not?
Honesty may be the best policy but it is one whose implementation does not come without cost. Are you willing to put the time and effort into living the principles of "truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving"? I may not always succeed, but I personally, am certainly going to try.
To help inspire you down the path of honesty, I invite you to go and check out, not only, the wonderful creations some members of my Design Team had the opportunity to create over on the Path of Positivity (click HERE for the midway) but also some of the great entries into this month's challenge (click HERE for the challenge). I also invite you to come over and enter a project yourself, if you haven't already.
As children we learn all the different outcomes from lying or simply avoiding the truth. The act of lying itself may prevent a child from getting into trouble immediately but the consequences of when the truth is finally discovered may increase the punishment tenfold. Then there are those occasions when telling the truth itself will result in punitive measures. If a five year old realizes that telling the truth is going to cost him or her in some way, are they likely to speak up with sincerity? Then, what about those times when it just might be possible that the child’s lies aren’t discovered? The praise and reward received may propel the child down a slippery slope of dishonest behaviour in order to achieve desirable results. As the child grows and tests the waters of where their honesty or dishonesty lands them, the negative patterns of conduct may already be too far ingrained and subconsciously they may come to a point where they don’t even realize how dishonesty is impacting their life. Face it, as humans if we can avoid facing emotional pain, our tendency will be to fall back on dishonesty if we believe that it can preclude us from experiencing the ramifications of distress. Thus, we end up falling into the pattern of deceptive behaviour given our desire to stay in our ‘happy place’ and to effectively avoid conflict or responsibility and get what we want. However, time has taught us that patterns can be broken and in order to live authentically, we need to adopt an honest lifestyle.
The problem is that walking the fine line of honesty can be a very difficult road to travel. As the quote says, it isn’t simply about not telling lies, it is also about coming forward and being truthful when we have done something wrong. It is about having the courage to speak up and tell the truth though we may be afraid to do so. It is about living your life with honesty being an important principle that you follow. Finally, it is about embracing and loving this truthful side to your nature. For some people, this means that they must ready themselves to deal with the potential pain that telling the truth can lead to and also learn that life isn’t always going to be about getting desirable outcomes. It takes true strength to be honest and if individuals have spent years immersed in negative behaviour, their patterns will not be broken overnight. However, with time, practice and perseverance, patterns can be broken. For others, the difficulty of living a truthful life lies in not wanting to hurt those around them. Many of us would prefer to avoid bringing distress to the people we care about. In these circumstances, we need to approach the situation with tact, be sensitive to the feelings of others, and exercise political correctness while still managing to bring honesty into the equation. None of these are easy tasks.
My personal goal is to live a truthful life. Sometimes I am not always so successful. For myself it is more a matter of not wanting to bring pain to others, not wanting to show anger and if I am being truthful with myself, avoiding conflict. Living a truthful life as Faust has laid out in his quote, is not an easy task at all. It can be arduous, distressing, uncomfortable and confusing, yet exalting and liberating all at the same. It requires determination, introspective thought and commitment. Additionally, it requires an individual to be accountable for their own life. That is not an easy thing to do but I believe that the rewards for living a truthful life are worth the efforts—better relationships, trust, less anxiety from having to keep all the different lies straight, knowing that you have taught others through example. These are all ideals worthy of the struggle, are they not?
Honesty may be the best policy but it is one whose implementation does not come without cost. Are you willing to put the time and effort into living the principles of "truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving"? I may not always succeed, but I personally, am certainly going to try.
To help inspire you down the path of honesty, I invite you to go and check out, not only, the wonderful creations some members of my Design Team had the opportunity to create over on the Path of Positivity (click HERE for the midway) but also some of the great entries into this month's challenge (click HERE for the challenge). I also invite you to come over and enter a project yourself, if you haven't already.
To help inspire you, I've provided the Faust quote that I referenced above, free for you to download:
Have a wonderful week everyone. I hope that you continue to find ways to be as honest as possible in your own lives.
Until next time,
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Click on the font name to take you to a download location. All these fonts are free for commercial use.
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6 comments:
Very tru Lisa and a brilliant post. I always wonder though ... what if a friend/family member asks you something and you know that to answer truthfully would hurt them ? How do you come to terms with that.? Like the classic "Does my bum look big in this dress?" line... what does one say ? Do you say 'yes' or try to go round it with an unambiguous reply or come straight out and say 'yes' and hurt their feelings ??? :-D
Thanks for the quote :-)
Hugz
IKE xx
This is so true. Honesty is so much more than telling the truth. Yes, it does take effort and consideration. Thank you for the sentiment. Edwina Brown
This is brilliantly written Lisa. You would be a great motivational speaker. You believe the same things I do. I always been too truthful. I've had to learn tactfulness. Thanks for the freebie. Loved what you said, once again. Hugs~Patti
hey nice post meh, I love your style of blogging here on decossesdynamitedoodles.blogspot.com. It reminds me of an equally interesting blog on my reading list which is http://danieluyi.com .
keep up the good work meh and also, please visit my blog and drop a comment even if it's a simple "nice post" reply.
Regards
It's pretty easy to "excuse" our little "dishonesties", not realizing how much they distort not only our point of view toward others, but toward ourselves as well. Thank you for this reminder, Lisa. hugs, de
That is really an awesome quote. And yes it's not easy to be honest... And being honest doesn't mean to have to say all that goes through your head just because you thought it... that can just hurt people needlessly... I know too many that do that. Yup not an easy balance!
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